The Importance of Names
by shiroratsukari
Summary: The Second Exorcist Plan's first stage was a success. Alma Karma was born without the memories of his previous life. And so Bookman brings his young apprentice to record one of the darkest stains in the hidden history of The Black Order itself.


Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and D. Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.

Author's note: This will make more sense if you've read chapters 188 and more (basically the arc about Kanda's past). Also "Lavi", Bookman Junior's 49th persona, doesn't really exist yet in this fic so he'll sound a bit off. This is the Junior that is still disappointed in humanity and so there won't be any of the "happy and smiling" Lavi we all love so much (after writing in the mindset of a young boy who's vastly disappointed in humanity I realized that Junior sounded a lot like a less destructive Kanda…). I struggled with whether to put this under "Deak" or "Lavi" since the character in this fic is more in line with Bookman Junior's personality than Lavi's but I still stuck with Lavi as the character tag. Too bad there isn't a tag for Junior. This is written in Junior's POV.

**The Importance of Names**

The Second Exorcist Plan's first stage was a success.

Alma Karma was born _without_ the memories of his previous life.

Such a feat should have been celebrated in the world of science, but there was little time for such pleasantries when in the midst of a war. Stage two would begin right away.

Bookman brought me to the Asian branch of The Black Order to record the progress of the Second Exorcist Plan. The last time there was such a success had been nearly a decade ago. They took us on a tour of the facility, explaining to us the details of each stage of the project and its worth. The whole place made me sick. The innocence, quite improperly named in my opinion, looked like headless angels covered in blood. Lifeless like the bodies they were attached to. Bright crimson like the blood that once ran through the soldiers that should have finally been allowed peace. There was nothing innocent about them.

"And I think you'll want to meet Alma himself? He's in a synchronization session right now so won't be able to join us for a while but when he's done I'll be sure to bring him."

But rather than waiting, Bookman expressed interest in seeing the synchronization session. That is a sight I will never be able to remove from my mind; even if I didn't remember everything I saw. Who in their right mind could justify something like this?

"We're not punishing you."

Then what were you sick people doing to the poor boy?

"Once more, try to synchronize with the innocence."

Why would he? He's being torn apart. But he does. He gets up again and reaches for the wretched thing as it pierces into him and the mess begins again. Torn flesh, snapping bones, oozing blood, blind screams of pain…or is it anger? I don't know why this surprises me anymore. These are humans we're talking about. The ones that bring about endless wars and devastation wherever they go.

"Alright Alma, just one more round."

And the screams begin again.

Bookman and I take our leave after the session ends. We're promised a meeting with the beaten and battered boy once his wounds are taken care of. Though I have to wonder if maybe it would be better if he could just lie there and die. As we make our way to the waiting area a group of scientists flock together to gossip in whispers they believe we can't hear. We're Bookmen, acute hearing was part of our job. The end effect being they might as well have been speaking to our faces.

"Look, they're the Bookmen that Edgar was talking about."

"Yeah, they watched Alma's synchronization session earlier."

"The kid too?!"

"Without batting an eye! A mere boy! Scary how heartless Bookmen can be isn't it?"

We're Bookmen. We're not meant to have hearts. But what about you lot? Look in the mirror yourselves. Standing there holding a bloodied kid with your cloaks soaked in crimson blood! Monsters, all of you!

"Aaron. Calm yourself. We are here to observe and nothing more," Bookman warns me since he feels me seething.

Aaron, English variant of the Hebrew name Aharown**. **The old man never ceases to amaze me. My alias this time meant "light bringer". Why he chose that name and brought me to this forsaken place was beyond me.

"This way please Bookman, Aaron. Alma will see you now."

So we formally met Alma Karma. The kid looked like he was seeing people for the first time with the way he jumped us.

"Whoa! Hey, I've never seen you guys around before! I'm Alma! You?"

So we introduced ourselves to the hyperactive kid that I wouldn't have thought went through hell and back not an hour ago had I not seen it for myself.

"SO! You look around my age! Everyone else here is old and busy so I don't get to play with anyone! Hey, hey! Let's be friends," Alma Karma said with a grin far too bright and enthusiastic for my likings.

I didn't answer him and simply stayed stoic as I had for the majority of my visit. Gramps talked with Alma Karma as Alma Karma jumped around and answered with greater enthusiasm than should be allowed of someone stuck in this hell-hole. When the interview ends we are led to our room. Gramps tells me he still has a few things he wishes to discuss with the Supervisor and leaves me behind. Within minutes of his departure, a screaming ball of energy tackles me to the ground.

"AARON! LET'S PLAY!"

I'm a Bookman in training. I don't "play". And I tell him as such.

"You're no fun," he pouts, "oh, I know! I'll take you to my favourite place and introduce you to my sleeping friends!"

"Sleeping friends", it wasn't hard to guess where he was heading. But it was a good chance for me to observe the interactions between subjects of the Second Exorcist Plan, so I followed.

Bad idea.

It was freezing within the growth chambers of the sleeping second exorcists; add that to the annoyance of a hyper boy jumping up and down holding a list of what appeared to be names grabbing and dragging you around the place at lightning speed and I guarantee that even the most patient would snap. So I told him to let go before I decided to fling him into one of the growth chambers. He complied.

"You're so mean! I wanted to show you my friends! Look, Edgar gave me a list of all their names!"

Looking over his shoulder I saw the names. Names meaning "benevolent", "loving", "sincere", "gentle" and so on littered the list. For weapons of war they really didn't have very warlike names.

"I think they wanted us to grow up to be good examples!"

…right…because raising you guys to adulthood was definitely part of the grand scheme of things when they decided to grow you in a giant hole in the ground and throw you to battles demons. I kept that thought to myself though, asking instead why he cared to even learn their names in the first place.

"They're like family! Like my siblings that haven't woken up yet! Besides, names are important you know, they are what people identify you with. So you know, you should tell me yours."

I froze. I already did didn't I?

"Nooooooo, your actual, real name. Edgar told me you know, that Aaron isn't your real name."

Loud mouthed scientists. But I assured him that even if Aaron wasn't my "real" name, it was the only name he would get out of me and so he should continue to call me that.

"But...! You gotta tell me! It's important!"

So instead of telling him my name, I tried to change the subject by telling him the meaning of his name. Alma Karma. In the most literal definition it meant "kind deed".

"Wow! I never knew that! You're a real smart guy aren't you? I like my name and its meaning!"

I didn't. It made me sick. "Kind deed"? Did they think they were gods? Bringing forth life as a "kindness" to the children of the Second Exorcist Plan?

"So! Since you're so smart, you gotta help me! Help me find everyone on this list!"

You have got to be kidding me. That list had at least a few dozen names on it.

"Come on! Hurry!"

Too bad, he was serious. So I was once again dragged around the freezing chamber as Alma Karma tried to interpret the name list with the map schematic of the room. He wasn't succeeding.

"So if I read it this way…then this one is Asher! Oh…but if I read it this way then this one should be Yuu…"

No. That one is Zene. I told him as I took the papers from him and pointed out each of the names with their coordinated locations. By the time I finished I'd already memorized each and every one of their names and so returned the papers to him.

"I knew you were smart! I wish I could remember it all like that. TEACH ME!"

Great. Now he was clinging on to me. To stop further damage to my cloths I opted to sit down and teach him how to memorize the names of his "family". It took all night. When he finally managed to do it, his smile grew even wider than I thought possible.

"YES! Look…uh…Ulfa! This is my new friend and he taught me to remember everyone!"

Now he turned to me expectedly as if he wanted me to do something.

"Well? You gotta tell me your name! How am I supposed to introduce you to all my friends if I don't even know what to call you?"

I sighed and told him that there would be no point in telling him my name since I would be leaving in a day or two anyways.

"It doesn't matter! If I don't know your name then I won't be able to call you anything!"

Sighing again I told him that he could just remember me as "Aaron" and be done with it. I then turned to leave but was stopped by a swift hand grabbing at my sleeve.

"Why won't you tell me your name?"

I stared at him in silence, a million thoughts racing through my mind: Because I'm a Bookman in training. I have no need for a name. In fact, I threw mine away a long time ago. No name, no identity, no home, no attachments. But I realized that none of that really mattered. Why didn't I want to tell him my "name"? I could just easily tell him any name and he would probably…no he would definitely believe me. So why didn't I just do that? He didn't seem to like the silence.

"Well?"

He was looking at me again, with those eyes. The eyes of a lost and beaten puppy looking for kindness from a random stranger he just happened to find.

"Weeeeeeeell?"

Great. Now I knew why I didn't just tell him a lie earlier. It was because I somehow couldn't. Seeing this child with all his antics seems to have made me soft. Being born in this wretched place and still being able to smile like that. Seeing the darkness of humanity and being forced to partake in actions that caused him endless pain and still being able to laugh whole-heartedly. I knew now. I couldn't lie to him. Not to someone like him.

"Fine! Keep your name! See if I care!"

But I could see that he did. And I really wanted to know why.

"Because names are important!"

Yeah. He'd said that already. Something about it being "what people identify you with". So what? Aaron would work just fine. That was my current identity. Wait. He wasn't supposed to hear that.

"Seeeeeeeeeeeeee? That's why Aaron is no good!"

And why is that "no good"?

"Because that's your 'current' identity. It's not your 'actual' identity. I wanna know more about the person that's standing before me. Not the _persona_ that's standing before me."

My eye widened. Just a little. Not so much that he'd notice. At least that's what I tried to tell myself.

"So it's gotta be your real name! Because you're my first friend! Well, my first waking friend!"

That still doesn't explain why he couldn't just remember me by "Aaron". Sure it's the persona's name and not mine but it really hardly mattered. This I tell him while waiting eagerly for an answer.

"When you leave…you won't be Aaron anymore."

I wait for him to continue.

"All of us are like this. My friends still sleeping and me. We only have our names because they said that maybe all of them might not wake up. If they never wake up then how will they be remembered? Only by name."

…he's afraid of being alone.

"Our names are the only things that belong to us and us alone. Our names are what helps others distinguish us from the masses."

I see. He's lonely.

"So our names are important because without it, we'd just disappear forever!"

Disappear…

"And I don't want you or any of my friends to disappear! So please! Tell me your name!"

So that's why. It's because more than anything else, he's afraid of losing "bonds". I chuckle silently to myself. Alma Karma. A boy similar to me in height, age and build and yet so different from me in mind, spirit and soul. He smiles to cope with humanity's evil. He laughs to deal with pain. He clings onto friends and shies away from solitude. As annoying as this child was, he was so intriguing in so many ways. So I decided to humour him and grant him his wish.

Call me Junior.

"Junior?"

Yes, because that is my identity. The apprentice Bookman that threw away his name. If all Alma Karma wanted was a name to link to an identity, then this would be the most suitable.

"Junior. I like it! Okay Junior, let's go say hi to everyone!"

I couldn't help a small smile that crept over my usual stoic face. Alma Karma's smile was definitely contagious. We sit and talk the rest of the morning away.

"I'll read lots and lots of books just like you! So I can teach all my friends a whole ton of things!"

I leave him soon after to return to Bookman who asks me where I was all night. I simply tell him that I was recording Alma Karma. He only nods in response. I lay on the bed as I thought about the boy I had just met. Such an interesting person. I wonder if maybe I could use him in one of my future personas? I shrugged that thought off as soon as it came; there was no way I'd ever be able to pull off such a happy-go-lucky character. Bookman turns to me and tells me that we leave this evening. I nod and I turn to the side and catch up on sleep.

He isn't there when we leave and a part of me wonders if maybe he's in another "session". But it's better this way, even if I feel a little bit guilty just leaving without saying goodbye. Bookman and I walk along and I'm lost in thought again as a new question suddenly jumps into my mind. The ever happy, ever smiling, ever hyper young boy who had to and still will have to endure so much, I have a simple question for you.

Why won't you curse them?

The people who forced you into this world, the people who hurt to you, the people who gave you such a sad, sad fate.

Why do you not curse them?

I realize now that it's too late to ever ask him this question because I doubt I will ever see him again.

So…

If you won't curse them, I will. I will curse them to their graves…no, that would be too merciful. I will curse them, curse them to regret. Curse them to see the horrors of their own madness. I will curse them to be haunted forever by the shadows their callous hearts brought forth.

But for you, Alma Karma, I will pray for a blessing. That someone will show you a kind deed and bring you the happiness you so rightfully deserve. A blessing that you and your friends will never disappear, for your names to be engraved in history so that you will always find each other.

That is, after all, the reason why you tried so hard to remember all their names…right?

**-End-**

Thanks for reading! Suggestions, comments and critiques are more than welcome!


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